Do I have to try mediation before going to court?

You usually have to attend a MIAM, which is an information and assessment meeting, unless an exemption applies. You do not have to go on to mediate, though the court will ask about it and can encourage it at any stage.

Can the court force us into mediation?

No. Practice Direction 3A says the rules do not give the court power to require attendance. The court can give directions encouraging it and pause the timetable, and it can take conduct into account when deciding costs.

It is the form on which each party tells the court their views on mediation and other non-court dispute resolution, verified by a statement of truth. In many cases it is due at least 7 days before the first hearing on notice.

Is mediation suitable if there has been domestic abuse?

Often not. Evidence of domestic abuse is a MIAM exemption, and a mediator must assess the risk of abuse and can decide mediation should not go ahead. Mediation is voluntary, so you can decline it if it does not feel safe.

Is a mediation agreement legally binding?

Not by itself. To make it binding, a consent order setting out the agreement can be sent to the court for a judge or magistrate to approve.

MIAM and mediation vs going straight to court

Family court · Mediation · England and Wales · Last checked 23 October 2026

Short answer. In most child arrangements disputes you cannot go straight to court: you first attend a MIAM with an accredited mediator unless an exemption applies, such as evidence of domestic abuse or urgency. Mediation itself is voluntary, usually quicker and less costly, according to gov.uk (which says a court order usually takes around 10 months), and leaves the decisions with the parents. Court is the route when agreement is not possible or not safe, and even then the judge must keep considering non-court options at every stage.

Key points

A MIAM is an information and assessment meeting, not mediation; each parent attends their own.
Since 29 April 2024 the court can direct parties to consider and try non-court dispute resolution and can ask for each party's views on form FM5.
Mediation is not suitable where there is a risk to anyone's safety; the mediator must assess this.
A mediated agreement is not binding on its own; a consent order approved by the court makes it so.

This page compares the two routes side by side and explains the rules that connect them. It is general information to help you understand the options, not advice on which one suits your family.

Side by side

	Mediation	Court
Who decides	The parents, helped by a neutral mediator	A judge or magistrates, if the parents do not agree
Starting cost	MIAM around £120 each; sessions priced by the mediator; voucher of up to £500 or legal aid may help	£270 application fee, plus the MIAM unless exempt; Help with Fees may help
Time	Gov.uk says it is usually quicker	Gov.uk says a court order usually takes around 10 months
Binding?	Not on its own; can become a consent order	Yes, a court order is legally binding
Being in the same room	Not required; sessions can be separate, remote or by phone	Both parties normally attend hearings; the court can put protective measures in place
The child's voice	Child-inclusive mediation, where suitable	Cafcass may speak to the child and report to the court
Safety	Only if the mediator assesses it as safe	Safeguarding checks and Practice Direction 12J apply

The MIAM requirement

Before applying for most private law children orders, the Children and Families Act 2014, section 10, and Family Procedure Rules rule 3.6 require the applicant to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, unless a MIAM exemption applies. Only a mediator authorised by the Family Mediation Council can conduct a MIAM and sign the form confirming you attended.

Under rule 3.9, the mediator at a MIAM must explain mediation and other forms of non-court dispute resolution, assess whether there has been or is a risk of domestic abuse, assess any risk of harm to the child, and say which forms of dispute resolution may suit your situation. If you attend and the other parent does not, gov.uk confirms you can still apply to court.

Exemptions in outline

Rule 3.8 lists the exemptions. In summary they cover: evidence of domestic abuse of a kind listed in Practice Direction 3A; current child protection enquiries or a child protection plan; urgency, including risk to someone's safety or a risk of a child being taken out of the country; attending a MIAM or another dispute resolution process in the last 4 months; an application made without notice; and practical barriers, such as no authorised mediator within 15 miles, or none available within 15 business days, where you cannot attend online. The C100 guide explains how the exemption is claimed on the form.

The court checks any exemption at the gatekeeping stage. If it was not validly claimed, the court can direct a MIAM and adjourn the case for it (rule 3.10).

When mediation is not suitable

Mediation depends on both people being able to speak freely and safely. Where there has been domestic abuse, coercive or controlling behaviour, or a risk to a child, that may not be possible, and the law reflects this in three ways:

The MIAM exemption for evidence of domestic abuse means you do not have to attend a MIAM before applying.
The mediator's assessment. Even if you attend, the mediator must assess abuse and the risk of harm, and can decide mediation should not go ahead.
The court's approach. Practice Direction 3A says the standard form on non-court dispute resolution does not have to be filed where a domestic abuse exemption was claimed or a form C1A (allegations of harm) has been filed. The court must also follow Practice Direction 12J in cases involving domestic abuse; see our guide to form C1A.

Gov.uk notes that mediation can happen without the parents being in the same room or on the same call, sometimes called shuttle mediation. Whether that is enough to make it safe is for the mediator to assess with you. You never have to agree to mediation you do not feel safe in.

The court's powers to encourage non-court resolution

Rule changes in force from 29 April 2024 strengthened the court's role. The key points, from Family Procedure Rules Part 3 and Practice Direction 3A:

A duty at every stage. The court must consider, throughout the case, whether non-court dispute resolution is appropriate (rule 3.3(1)).
Your views on form FM5. When the court requires it, each party files and serves a form setting out their views on non-court dispute resolution (rule 3.3(1A)). In cases covered by paragraph 10C of Practice Direction 3A, it is due at least 7 days before the first hearing on notice, with a statement of truth. The FM5 guide covers the form.
Directions and pauses. Where the court thinks it appropriate, it can encourage parties to get information about and try non-court dispute resolution, and give directions about it, including timing and how to report back (rule 3.4). In children cases this is after the Cafcass safeguarding letter has been received. The court can also adjourn proceedings under its general powers.
No compulsion, but costs. Practice Direction 3A, paragraph 10A, says the rules do not give the court power to make parties attend. Paragraph 10E adds that not attending will not affect the court's decision about the child, but the court may take conduct into account when deciding costs.

Costs and help to pay

Gov.uk says a MIAM usually costs around £120 and is free if either parent qualifies for legal aid. Mediation sessions are charged on top, and parents decide how to share them. The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme can usually contribute up to £500 towards mediation sessions, whatever your income; the mediator applies for it, and it cannot be used for the MIAM. The Ministry of Justice confirmed on 15 May 2026 that the scheme would continue for another year.

Legal aid can cover mediation for people on a low income. If both parents are eligible, gov.uk says it covers the MIAM, the sessions and applying for a consent order. If only one is eligible, it covers the MIAM and the first session for both parents, then the eligible parent's further costs. Use the gov.uk legal aid checker. For the court side of the comparison, see how much a C100 case costs in total.

Other non-court options

Mediation is one of several kinds of non-court dispute resolution. Gov.uk and Practice Direction 3A describe others:

Solicitor negotiation: lawyers negotiate for you, which can help if you cannot or do not want to contact the other parent.
Collaborative law: each parent has their own lawyer and all four meet to reach agreement.
Arbitration: a legal professional, such as a judge, solicitor or barrister, listens to both of you and decides the issue.
Neutral evaluation: a legal professional gives an unbiased view of what a court might decide, to help you agree.

Some people start with a parenting plan of their own; see our parenting plan template.

After mediation: making it stick

At the end of successful mediation you get a document recording what you agreed. Gov.uk says you do not need to do anything else, but such an agreement is not legally binding. If you want it to be, a consent order can be drafted and sent to the court for a judge or magistrate to review and approve. An application for a consent order is one of the situations where gov.uk says a MIAM is not usually required. If mediation does not lead to agreement, you can still apply to court, and the mediator's signed form shows you attended a MIAM.

If you go to court, the case is private. The Administration of Justice Act 1960, section 12, and the Children Act 1989, section 97, restrict what can be shared about it.

Where EvidenceCanvas fits, and where it does not. EvidenceCanvas does not book mediation, fill in form FM5, the C100 or any court form, or tell you whether mediation is right for you. If your case goes to court, it can draft a chronology, witness statement or position statement from documents you upload, which you check, sign and file yourself.

Questions people ask

Do I have to try mediation before going to court?: You usually have to attend a MIAM, which is an information and assessment meeting, unless an exemption applies. You do not have to go on to mediate, though the court will ask about it and can encourage it at any stage.
Can the court force us into mediation?: No. Practice Direction 3A says the rules do not give the court power to require attendance. The court can give directions encouraging it and pause the timetable, and it can take conduct into account when deciding costs.
What is form FM5?: It is the form on which each party tells the court their views on mediation and other non-court dispute resolution, verified by a statement of truth. In many cases it is due at least 7 days before the first hearing on notice.
Is mediation suitable if there has been domestic abuse?: Often not. Evidence of domestic abuse is a MIAM exemption, and a mediator must assess the risk of abuse and can decide mediation should not go ahead. Mediation is voluntary, so you can decline it if it does not feel safe.
Is a mediation agreement legally binding?: Not by itself. To make it binding, a consent order setting out the agreement can be sent to the court for a judge or magistrate to approve.

Checked on 23 October 2026: gov.uk, make an agreement through mediation; gov.uk, apply for a court order; gov.uk, other ways to agree without going to court; Family Procedure Rules Part 3; Practice Direction 3A; gov.uk, form FM5; Ministry of Justice, voucher scheme extension (15 May 2026); Family Mediation Council, find a mediator. General information for England and Wales, not legal advice. Your court's directions take priority over this guide.